Next to Always: Shattered Innocence Trilogy Book Two Read online

  CHAPTER TWO

  It had been three weeks since Dylan had seen Rade. It was time she went home. Each day without him was getting easier. The only time she cried was at night. She missed having him near her. Remembered how he held her close to him at night. How secure she felt in his arms. The way he caressed her body when they were together in the tub or on the couch while watching a stupid movie. Everything she had with him was gone. She would never be able to get it back. The memories of that night still haunted her. Even sleeping was becoming nonexistent. All she could see was the monster with no face.

  Dylan was packing the last of her things when her dad entered her room. Dylan looked up as he walked in. She could tell that he was sad to see her go. No matter how much she wished she could stay with her dad, she knew she needed to get back and face what was waiting for her.

  “Are you all packed, pumpkin?” her dad asked as he walked closer to where she was standing.

  “Yeah, I think so,” Dylan said as she lifted her tote bag off the bed.

  “Let me take that for you.” Her dad took her tote and slung it over his shoulder.

  As they headed out of her room, tears began to form in Dylan’s eyes. She was going to miss her dad. She didn’t know what she would have done if she didn’t have him.

  When they arrived at the airport, the check-in line was short. It had taken only a few minutes for Dylan to check her bag and get her boarding pass. Why do goodbyes always have to be so hard? Dylan gave her dad a long and extra tight hug as they said their goodbyes.

  “I love you, Daddy,” Dylan said as her tears began to fall, full of sadness.

  “I love you too, pumpkin. Call me when you land.” Her dad kissed the top of her head as he pulled away from her embrace.

  The flight home allowed Dylan to think about what she needed to do once she landed. It was all too clear she needed a job, an apartment, a car. It seemed like she was reliving the same scenario from three months ago. Who knew that her life would lead to where it was now? She wasn’t going to let the turn of events get her down. She had been down that road with Michael and she wasn’t going back there.

  Lilly was waiting for Dylan outside the terminal. Even though it had only been a couple of weeks since she saw her friend, Dylan missed her terribly. Once they set eyes on each other, they couldn’t help but hug and cry, and then cry and hug some more. Lilly helped Dylan with her bag as they walked to Lilly’s car. With Dylan’s bag loaded in the trunk, they headed out onto Belt Parkway to I-678. The traffic was horrendous. Dylan had thought about taking a red-eye flight to avoid the traffic, but she decided on an earlier flight to save her friend from driving in the dark.

  As they turned onto the highway, John Legend’s “All of Me” began playing on the radio. The lyrics kept running through Dylan’s mind. Tears began forming in her eyes as she looked out the window. She thought there were no more tears to shed, but she was wrong. Lilly looked over and saw how torn up Dylan had been by the song. She reached over to the dial and scanned for another station with an upbeat song. Worried about her friend, Lilly gently took Dylan’s hand and gently squeezed it.

  “Everything will work out, Dylan. You can stay with me as long as you need to,” Lilly reassured Dylan as she moved her eyes from the road to Dylan.

  “I know you’re right. I just want the hurt to go away,” Dylan replied as she brushed away her tears.

  “I almost forgot. I brought you a letter you got in the mail yesterday. It’s in my purse,” Lilly said as she pointed to the back seat.

  Dylan grabbed Lilly’s purse and tugged it between their seats. “Jesus Christ, Lilly, what all do you have in here?”

  Lilly rolled her eyes as Dylan began looking for the letter. Once she located the envelope she read BlackStone Industries as the sender.

  “Oh my God, Lilly, this is the company I applied to online.” Dylan explained as she ripped open the envelope. “It says they received my application and are interested in meeting with me. They want me to call them to set up a time.”

  “Well… that’s good news, right?” Lilly said as she patted Dylan’s leg. “This could be what you need, Dylan.”

  Dylan was so excited about the possible interview that she momentarily forgot about Rade. That lasted all of fifteen minutes, until they drove past the Northgate Financial building. Her high just tumbled like a ton of bricks on her heart. Even though this was what she wanted, she still wished her time with Northgate wasn’t over. She knew there was no other choice for her if she wanted to get over Rade.

  Lilly parked her car in the parking garage to her building and helped Dylan grab her bag from the trunk. Once they got to Lilly’s apartment, Dylan took her bag and headed to the office/bedroom. Lilly was kind enough to make room in the office closet so that Dylan could hang up her clothes. The items that didn’t require a hanger she stowed away in plastic storage drawers that they picked up before she left for her dad’s. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it worked for her. As she put her things away, she thought about the space she had in her old apartment, which brought her back to her room at Rade’s penthouse, which brought her back to thoughts of Rade. It didn’t matter what she did, everything reminded her of him. She was beginning to think she was never going to get over him.

  There was one thing she could do, make a call to BlackStone Industries and schedule a meeting with them. Since it was Saturday, she hoped she would be able to get in touch with someone who could arrange that for her. As the phone rang, she searched for a pen and paper in case she needed something to write about. There was a slight pause before someone greeted her.

  “BlackStone Industries. How can I help you?” a female voice answered on the other end.

  “Um… Hi,” Dylan began. “My name is Dylan Adams. I received a letter from BlackStone Industries stating they wanted me to come in for an interview. I was wondering if I could set that up today or if I needed to wait until Monday.”

  “I can help you with that, Ms. Adams. Let me check the schedule. Mr. Black and Mr. Stone always like to meet with potential employees themselves. I just need to check their schedules. Can you please hold for a moment?” the girl asked.

  “Yes, that would be great,” Dylan replied, trying to hide her excitement.

  Five minutes later, Dylan had an appointment set for Tuesday at two o’clock to meet with Mr. Black and Mr. Stone. She was happy that someone was there to make the appointment. She also wondered if it was like that every Saturday and if she would also be working Saturdays if she got hired. At this point she didn’t care. She would even agree to work holidays if it meant she would get the job.

  Even though it was early evening, Dylan was exhausted. She decided she would take a quick shower and head to bed. Leaving her room, Lilly passed her as she stepped into the hallway.

  “Hey, girlfriend, I just opened a bottle of wine if you want some,” Lilly said as she headed to her own room.

  “Thanks, Lilly, that sounds good. I’m going to shower and head to bed. I’m exhausted.” Dylan wanted to make sure Lilly knew she was all right, just a little beat from the trip.

  Dylan headed to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine before she showered and turned in. There was a buzz on the intercom just as she was leaving the kitchen. She back stepped to the kitchen to answer the intercom.

  “Hello,” Dylan said as she pressed the button and waited for a reply.

  “Hello, Ms. Davis.” Dylan let the gentleman continue before she corrected whom he was speaking to. “I have a letter addressed to Ms. Adams that was dropped off earlier today.”

  “This is Dylan Adams. Do you know who dropped it off?” Dylan replied with curiosity.

  “I’m not sure of the gentleman’s name, but he was tall, about fiftyish, well built, bald with a goatee. If you’d like I can bring it up or you can come get it.”

  Dylan knew who it was that delivered the letter. It was Richard. She didn’t want Lilly to inquire about the delivery, so she decided to go down. “I’ll be r
ight there.”

  Dylan quickly changed into a t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants. When she got to the lobby, she saw the security guard sitting behind the check-in desk. All she could think about was the letter waiting for her. She had a pretty good idea that the letter came from Rade. Dylan wasn’t sure what she would do with the letter once she had it in her hands. She didn’t even know why she came down to the lobby to retrieve it. If she had been smart, she would have just had the security guard shred it.

  Nervously she walked up to the desk as she greeted the security guard. “Hi, I’m Dylan Adams. I believe you’re holding a letter for me.”

  “Oh, yes, Ms. Adams,” the security guard said. “I have right here.”

  The guard handed Dylan the letter as she smiled down at him. “Thanks,” she said as she took the letter from him.

  Dylan held it in her hand as she inspected the writing on the envelope. It was definitely from Rade. She would know his handwriting anywhere. As she got in the elevator, she continued to stare down at the envelope. Her thoughts went back and forth. Open the letter. Words can’t hurt you. Don’t be a fool, just throw the letter away. Nothing he could say could erase what he let happen. Dylan was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn’t realize that the elevator doors opened to her floor. They were just about to shut when Dylan came back to reality. Dylan raised her hand and pushed at the door, causing it to retract.

  Lilly was standing outside the apartment door, watching Dylan come down the hallway. When Dylan looked up and saw Lilly’s expression, she knew she wasn’t happy. Lilly’s arms crossed at her chest were also a dead giveaway. Dylan passed Lilly with no words. The only gesture was Dylan’s hand raised in a “Don’t say a word” motion. Dylan could feel Lilly’s eyes burning in the back of her head.

  Dylan returned to the kitchen to finish her glass of wine. As she sat at the bar, she placed the envelope in front of her. Lilly took a seat beside her and watched as Dylan began spinning the letter with her thumb and middle finger.

  Lilly was getting dizzy from the spinning letter. Taking a firm hold of Dylan’s wrist, she snapped, “Dylan, stop! You aren’t going to read that, are you?”

  Dylan just stared at the letter. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. “I don’t know, Lilly. After what he told you, I just don’t know what to do.”

  “Tell you what…” Lilly began as she reached for the letter and took it in her hand. “I think you should wait. Let him stew for a while. I’ll hold on to it. Personally, I think you should burn the damn thing and move on.”

  Dylan looked at Lilly with surprise. “What if it wasn’t his fault, Lilly? Maybe he didn’t know what was going to happen…… to me.” Dylan broke off as tears slowly began to surface.

  “Let’s just give it time. Maybe a day or two.” Lilly pulled Dylan in for a small hug as Dylan nodded in agreement.

  It was late when Dylan and Lilly finished their dinner and polished off two bottles of wine. The exhaustion from the trip was finally taking a toll on Dylan. That and the fact that she drank more than she ate. All she wanted to do was sleep. Not just the two to three hours she had been getting for the past three weeks, but the kind of sleep that took her completely and left her refreshed.

  Stumbling into her pull-out bed, Dylan pulled the covers over her and tried to think of nothing but happy thoughts. That lasted for about ten minutes, and then she started thinking about Rade. There was so much she missed about him. The time they spent together. No matter how much he controlled her life, she could only think about how good it felt when he touched her, how he kissed her. The passion that he showed her whenever they made love. Was their time together real? Could he have shown her so much compassion without feeling anything? Was the anguish she saw reflected in his eyes the night at The Castle a lie? Not possible. No one could show that much pain and not feel it. Maybe she needed to find out the truth. The only way she would be able to do this was to face Rade. It would have to be on her own terms. She just wasn’t sure if she was ready. She would give it a couple of days.

  With the clock showing 3:00 a.m., Dylan knew trying to fall asleep was going to be a lost cause. The best cure for restlessness was making herself exhausted and the only way to do that was to work out. Dylan pulled herself from her bed and headed to the gym located on the first floor. With her iPod in hand, she headed out the door, careful not to wake up Lilly.

  No one was in the gym at this ungodly hour, which made for a very lonely workout. Even though it was quiet, at least Dylan had her choice of equipment to work out on. She decided to tackle the treadmill first. A little run would increase her heart rate. After ten miles on the treadmill, twenty minutes on the elliptical, fifty squats and one hundred crunches, Dylan’s body felt like jello. When she finally made it to the apartment, it took two seconds for her to fall on the bed and about ten more to fall asleep.

  *****

  Dylan’s body felt like it had been through the wringer as she gradually woke up to the light blazing through the office window. Too lazy to get up and close the blinds, she grabbed her pillow and placed it over her head to shield her eyes from the bright sunlight. Her body fell back into a deep sleep, only to be woken by the sound of clattering pans coming from the kitchen.

  “Oh my God, can’t you be any louder?” Dylan yelled, hoping Lilly would hear her over the noise she was making.

  When the noise didn’t stop, Dylan had no other choice but to get out of bed. The noise could not be blocked with the pillow she held tightly over her head. She loved her friend, but at this very moment she wanted to kill her. Lifting her sore body from the pullout bed, Dylan headed to the kitchen, making a pit stop at the bathroom. Finishing her morning ritual of peeing and brushing her teeth, she went to the kitchen, only to be greeted by the out-of-tune screeching sound of Lilly mutilating Pharrell Williams’ “Happy.”

  Holding her hands over her ears, Dylan began yelling. “Lilly… Lilly… please stop. You’re hurting my head.”

  Lilly looked up at Dylan as she removed the ear buds from her ears. “Did you say something, girlfriend? Breakfast is almost ready.”

  “Yeah… yeah,” Dylan said as she waved her hand to Lilly and walked to the living room and plopped herself on the sofa.

  Dylan was thankful the noise finally stopped. Just as she was beginning to doze off again, the scent of bacon and eggs seeped into her nose. Opening her eyes, Lilly was holding a plate two inches from her face with one hand and a freshly brewed cup of coffee in the other. Dylan looked at her friend and took the cup of coffee with one hand while pushing the plate of food with the other.

  Lilly placed the plate she prepared for Dylan on the coffee table. “You know, Dylan, if you don’t start eating, you won’t be making a very good impression for your job interview Tuesday. People will think you’re sick.”

  “Okay, fine.” Dylan hesitantly grabbed a slice of bacon from the plate and began eating.

  As Dylan finished her breakfast, she was beginning to feel human again, but she didn’t think food would be the cure, based on how she felt earlier. Taking her empty plate and her coffee mug, she walked to the kitchen and deposited her dirty dishes in the sink. Turning to leave, she noticed the envelope from Rade lying on the counter where she left it last night. She knew she wasn’t ready to read what he had to say, but she picked it up anyway. Heading back to her room, she placed the letter in her underwear drawer. Out of sight, out of mind was her reasoning.

  Grabbing a change of clothes, Dylan headed to the bathroom to take a much needed shower. Looking in the mirror, Dylan could not believe what she saw. Her hair looked like a bird decide to build a nest in it. The sight of her hair was no comparison to how her face looked. There was no happiness reflecting back at her. Her once glimmering emerald green eyes looked dull and lacked the confidence they once held. Her skin was also paler than normal. As she turned to her right, she could see that even her body looked different. Even though she still had a firm, toned body, it was thinner. Her hip bones were
more prominent and the indentation of her abdomen was deeper. She knew she had lost weight in the past three weeks, but what she saw was far from the woman she used to be. She needed to change this, or at least try. She couldn’t let what happened to her take over her life. Hopefully the job interview she had would change this for her and bring back the woman she once was.

  Dylan spent most of her day choosing an outfit for her interview and putting her portfolio together. It seemed like only yesterday she was doing this very thing. Once she had finished, she decided to take a break before she began her hunt for a place to live. Even though she loved her friend dearly, sleeping on a pull-out bed was not her cup of tea. She wanted her own place with her own bed. Grabbing her purse, she headed out of the apartment to take advantage of the warm spring air. April was one of her favorite months. The trees were beginning to blossom and the daffodils were beginning to bloom. The air felt cleaner. It was like the start of a new beginning.

  It was mid afternoon by the time Dylan got to her destination. She wasn’t sure what possessed her to take a cab to Riley’s, but for some reason she felt the need to see Evan. When the cab pulled up to the curb outside of Riley’s, Dylan wasn’t sure if she made the right decision. Paying the driver she stepped out of the cab and stood in front of the pub debating if she should go in or turn around and leave. Her decision was made for her when Evan walked out of the entrance door and saw her standing there.

  “Dylan, hey. I haven’t seen you for a while. You look different,” Evan said, taking in Dylan’s appearance.

  “I… um… A lot has happened since I saw you. It’s good to see you.” Dylan was unable to look at Evan in the eye. She was afraid of what he would see if she did.

  “I was just on my way home, but we can grab a coffee if you’d like,” Evan said looking down at Dylan.

  “That would be great.” Dylan’s gaze switched from the sidewalk to the coffee shop down the street.